If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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