I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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