did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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