I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize