i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
is wine microwaveable?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize