I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
