I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize