I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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