I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just pynch a tree in the face
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
