You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Randomize
