Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
