If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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