Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
