I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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