i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
