so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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