come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
