i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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