So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
