i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
When did angry sex become our thing?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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