I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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