Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
