i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
only if we run a train.
done.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
