At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
