I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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