first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
