Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
