What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
