Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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