Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
