Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Everything about him screamed your future.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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