oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i dont even know how to be here
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
