My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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