I wanna passion pit in your ass
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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