I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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