You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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