so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
