Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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