Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
