Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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