Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
