dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
