3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize