I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
