im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
