oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
