You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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