Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
