used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
