Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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