i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
