Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
