Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize