He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize