you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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