I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I love you.
Bad choice
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