If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
