Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
