I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Slut skills are useful in every country.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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