i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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