I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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