I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize