so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
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