i permit you to call me
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
