It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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