I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
