Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
